Insert pun on "progress" and "paradox".
State rhetoric question about loving numbers. Proclaim Progress Quest as the game for readers. Describe today's subject has perfect gameplay. Mention perfect controls. Mention zero loading times. Mention intuitive interface. Mention lack of bugs. Mention balanced classes. Mention ability to play on weaker computers. Mention addictive nature.
Switch to serious tone and rhetorically ask if the reader was expecting a "catch". Acknowledge and highlight the lack of visuals and interactivity. Describe how Progress Quest completely plays itself. Mention lack of challenge. Mention lack of decision making. Mention lack of consequences. Mention lack of breathtaking graphics. Describe paradox of game using the term "progress" because the player in no way progresses in "skills".
Switch to enthusiastic tone and emphasize how games can offer the illusion of "progress". Mention other roleplaying games. Mention gambling. Mention fantasy sports. Describe how games can let players feel like they are progressing without having to lift a hand. Applaud efficiency of Progress Quest. State that as long as a game is addictive, it's still being fun.
Add that the lack of visuals help stimulate the player's own imagination, not unlike a book does. Mention how Progress Quest lets the player completely decide what a "Half Halfling" and "Revolting Cloud" would be like.
And you know what really makes me love this game? It shows in so many ways how games differ from other forms of media. It's extreme in so many ways. It shows how important decision-making is in games. It shows how much pride a player can take in their "progress", even if it's such an easy task. It shows the impact graphics and sound can have on a game. Progress Quest is a wonderful experiment for theoretical aspects of game design and ludology.
Insert remark how game is most of all the ultimate smorgasbord for people who love numbers.
the99th sez: Mi amigo de Argentina hecho' un juego que es mejor, y Jon Blow dice la miasma! Hunter RPG.
N.B.: It's a PC title, but the developer reports that it runs fine on Linux under Wine.