Minotaur In A China Shop

Step 1 - Sell China, Step 2 - ???, Step 3 - Profit!

Minotaur in a China Shop is a harrowing study of the underlying psychology behind global capitalism.

Moloch, the bull god, epitomizes both mechanization and fervor to dominate, it is the symbol of Merryl Lynch, the underpinning of a "bull market", and the principle that would enslave you. It is one entrepreneurial Minotaur trying to keep his shit together. Trying to maximize revenues while minimizing risk, and when that doesn't work, bring in the financial derivatives.

Flashbang fucking rules, first off, in their earlier games they explored the reptilian ancestry of the global elite and the obsession with spatial technology that grips both men and sauropods. Now they've completed a game that is balanced between flow and phantasm, wetness and existential chafe. You play a Minotaur trying to play the game, trying to make money, do the right thing, bring fine China to the world of Greek monster-citizens while making a nice profit. However, your past haunts you, the inescapable nature of the beast shall prevail. You move around with tank controls, swaying wildly, knocking over the wares and incurring costs. While the controls make no sense in Resident Evil or largely any game that's ever used them, they make perfect sense here; of course you maneuver like a U-Haul truck, you're a Minotaur in a China Shop. The purity of this concept is as inescapable as the beastly essence of the human animal.

The Diner Dash meets RPG meets destruction derby gameplay is just a ruse to invite you into its trap, the feedback loop between efficient service and reckless destruction co-mingle. The faster you can move, the more customers that come in, the more goods you have to sell, the more likely you are to knock over china, and the costs increase as your inventory does. However, at the tipping point, you're faced with a logical temptation: not only do you feel like fucking shit up, it makes profitable sense. The game has Rage Insurance that kicks in once you've destroyed so much, and then your exploits begin to exploit the pool of people paying insurance, you get paid for your chaos. It's kind of like Credit Default Swaps, the combo multipliers are like leverage, you're given incentive by disaster-engendering regulations to recklessly speculate on destruction and then make that destruction happen. That the insurance isn't for accidents, but a politically progressive rage disorder given official label by sympathetic minds, is only icing on the dulce de leche layer-cake of satire.

The game isn't as effective in exploring anger management within your own mind as it could be, largely because the game takes pains to explain these mechanics. If they let you get frustrated at your clumsily incurred losses, only to stumble on the gains to be had by embracing the beast, the effect would have been more powerful, like realizing tangibly that DEFCON rewards maximal genocide, or that other games I don't feel like linking to are inviting you to make unethical decisions, and you're gleefully taking the bait. The cartoonishness plays that down, but don't let that fool you. This game is a better demonstration of the psychology behind the current global financial meltdown than any turgid article or chart analysis could ever be.

Or it's just a Family Guy joke turned game. Pwns Great Depression II 4 rly.