If you're reading an indie game review blog on Christmas day, odds are you're not a Christian In that case, your gift from the deranged, artistic elites at Play This Thing is I Am Jesus, a projectile dueling game involving Jesus' revenge and God's cock from one of the developers of Manhunt 2.
I Am Jesus puts you in the role of Jesus. You click around Jesus, drag the mouse, and release where you want to throw your trajectory. Its kind of like those tank battle games, but instead of tanks adjusting their aim to land that killer shell, it's Jesus and other people with sandals, throwing spears. Instead of a hill in the middle adding complexity to the aiming process, there is a huge, stone cock, the Cock Of God. When you kill people, you earn the equivalent of magic points, known as "God Love," that allows you to heal yourself, summon UFOs and other wacky blubshots. It's a weakly balanced RPG element, but otherwise you're pretty much dealing with an old game re-skinned for shock value.
What's most disappointing is that the game, for all its audacity, lacks any kind of procedural rhetoric. Its game design and its subject matter are divorced, like the gender of Buffalo Bill from his sewn-together suit. As I noted earlier, even a simple arcade game can set up the psychological experience of a much wider, more complex, real world concept, though apparently projectile-based dueling does not fall into this. Instead, it's like a South Park episode idea that never graduated from the drunk conversation stage. I admire the developer for taking spare time out of his doubtlessly shitty day-job experience at Rockstar, but I wish he would have applied his imagination in a more clever manner.
Then again, there is a beautiful message of God's love for you, or at least, for Jesus. God will not help you kill, but he is willing to put his motherfucking cock between you and your enemies.
